Who is the Monster?

I write this blog with a heavy heart and want to sincerely state that my views behind body image is complex and not easily understood. Although I hold opinions on women's image that not many feminists do not share and would most likely claim is the root behind women's insecurities, I do not claim that there are not severe consequences with any perspective or view that is implied to the extreme. I write this blog with having experienced my sister, my best friend, battled anorexia for 2 years. Although it may seem as though I should completely reject women's magazines and other forms of image influence due to watching my sister suffer, I actually hold the opposite perspective because of my sister

This video reminds me so much of my sister, but thankfully, she was saved.

My approach to body image is not one of rejection, but one of embracement and true understanding. To completely reject women's magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Elle, Marie Claire, Vogue, etc is to place a band aid over a deep wound. The band aid will only last temporarily, and most often when it is removed, the cut is deeper and more infected. When listening to leading feminists such as Naomi Wolfe in her Beauty Myth, or critics of the high fashion industry, I do truly identify with the pain behind their arguments. Women have such a battle with image and how it is tied to their identity. But it is my goal over the next few blogs and in my paper on gender to try to explain how I sincerely believe with all my heart that although magazines, fashion, and different mediums to effect the way people view themselves, they are not the root cause of insecurity within ourselves.

My story is this--

I watched my sister spiral downwards in a battle for her life, but more importantly her identity. I sat through counseling sessions where the therapists told her she was beautiful. I begged her to eat. I threw away all fashion magazines in our house. I wore baggy clothes. I ate more in front of her. I never talked about image. I would follow her into the bathroom. She still continued to suffer. My sister had it all. She was a varsity athlete, 4.0 student, freshman class president, on the church worship team, had a large group of friends, and a stable family. My sister was not fat. She was 5'9 and weighed 120 pounds preanorexia. At the worst point in her battle, she weighed just over 100 pounds.

To say that the media, especially magazines, is the issue behind self-image is to take the easy route. My sister beat her anorexia. I flew home my freshman year of college to hear her speak about eating disorders at a high school near our house. As I listened to her speak, and I began to understand her deepest and darkest secrets, I realized that the root of a distorted body image does not lie in the influence of the media, but rather the ideal taught not only to women, but to men as well, that you must be everything. It is an issue of control. When life becomes hectic and competitive, people search for any mode of control possible. I believe women and men search for different areas of control based on what we are socialized to think is important. Body image for women is an area of control that can reap immediate success in the eyes of peers.

I do not write this claiming to have all the answers, but rather to state that we must search deeper. We must be willing to look at all aspects of a women's life and realize that the issue of body image that plagues most women and destroys many is far more complex than merely blaming the media.