I need courage.

As I approached even trying to talk about topic of race, I must say that I felt and still feel extremely uncomfortable. In the readings, it was acknowledged by Achman and his analysis of Chris Rock that comedy can be a source of relief and means of dissecting racism in society. I have to say that I am usually the white girl in the room that is objecting to scenes from Family Guy or South Park. It has been so engrained in me from my liberal family to accept and embrace all people-- and racism or racist thoughts are not acceptable. But as I really started thinking about my thought process on race, I may object theoretically to scenes from comedies/satires, and I may be as liberal as it gets politically, but I sadly still stereotype in regarding race. So as much as I say I believe in the idea of diminishing racial disparities, am I part of the issue? Am I the REAL problem? I think I probably am. I am the person who is not willing to truly become uncomfortable when talking about race. In concept and theory, I completely oppose racism, but when I walk down the street, when I watch TV, when I think about dating--I stereotype subconsciously. I hope that the acknowledgment of this will help me. I need to start having the courage to ask questions that will make me uncomfortable.

The Blind Side

I decided to attend the movie, The Blind Side, alone. Race, unlike gender, has been a topic within class and in my personal life, that I really believe I have dodged. As I wrote my paper on class for my Communications Media course, and displayed the realities of news reporters in the media (they are typically white and fail to ask questions of substance regarding race), I did become angered, but not specifically at the reporters, but at myself. I have truly realized my ignorance in regards to racial disparities in the United States. I am a democrat, and a pretty dedicated one, so I do acknowledge the plight of the African American community and see great importance in reform and government programs to help create a bridge between racial communities. But really, honestly, if I were to be completely transparent, I would have to admit my own racial stereotypes that I form within society. I would have to admit that I do not ask the difficult questions that make me extremely uncomfortable, and I use blanket statements like poverty, crime, welfare, affirmative action, to explain racial issues, rather than truly diving into the term and deciphering my stance, like I would with specifics of certain women's issues. I do not go and stand side by side with my African American citizens and ask what I can do to create a more healthy, egalitarian relationship.

As I sat in the theatre, watching the Blind Side, all of these emotions ran through me. I saw myself in Mrs. Tuley. I would be that girl to see "Big Mike" and offer to help him, but not truly understand him. I may go further than some white people in aiding someone in need, but I do not go the depths in actually feeling the pain of their struggle. I really forced myself to evaluate this. I sincerely have not issue diving into LGBT issues, a group I do not directly identify with, but have great empathy for, so why do I have such a struggle with wanting to not only understand, but take on racial issues within society? I really became angry with myself. I don't think I have ever identified with a character in a movie like I did with Mrs. Tuley. A white, upper class, Christian woman who took on many humanitarian causes, was convicted by something that was in her backyard, merely a few miles on the other side of town, but a completely different world.

The scene where Mrs. Tuley is at lunch with her entitled friends and her friend asks "genuinely" if she fears a black boy under the same roof as her daughter, will sit within my heart forever. A huge shift occurred within me and I suddenly not only realized how wrong that statement was, but how much of a gap there is between the upper class white, and the black community. No matter who I am, I am still associated with this class and it is not my choice, but my obligation in continually breaking down racial barriers and stereotypes within my own life.

Cosby

I must admit, I am a 'Nick at Nighter.' There is something about watching shows from childhood, and tv that has very miniscule problems presented that is comforting. But when I really think about the shows I watch, sometimes I wonder if they are actually a positive influence on my formation of stereotypes.

The Cosby Show changed the portrayal of African American culture and representation in the media when it came out. A family without any major problem or deviance, the father is a doctor, and the mother a lawyer. The characters of the family all being black allowed the advancement of African Americans. This always was my perception of the effect the Cosby Show had on Americans.

Now, I often wonder if when white Americans watch shows such as The Cosby Show, Sister Sister, Fresh Prince of Belaire, and Family Matters, if we all assume the racial problems in America have diminished? I fear that these shows create a false idea in the minds of many white Americans, that see, these black families are making it and succeeding the American Dream, just like white people, therefore, race in America does not need to be addressed anymore.

I get frustrated, because I have no answers. I feel as though it is a cycle. I obviously feel that it is extremely important and necessary for African Americans to be equally represented in the media, but I hope that stereotyping begins to change and allow for African Americans to represent multiple and all facets of American Culture.

Uncomfortable

(African American Viewers and the Black Situation Comedy: 25-95)

"First, it reduces threat (a lesson we learned from blackface minstrelsy), be it political, economic, moral, or religious. Second, the practice of stereotyping promotes ethnocentrism: the in-group is catapulted to a superior status that the out-group cannot obtain" (75).

Stereotyping allows people to perpetuate and strengthen generalizations. When white people make generalizations of the black community, it creates an attitude of superiority, because most likely all the generalizations made are negative attributes. Many of the attributes are also very contradictory such as being lazy, but aggressive.

An example that sticks in my mind is the stereotyping of African American women. When a black women does not sing well, is not athletic, does not fit the stereotypical physical assumptions that all black women have been lumped into, etc., people are thrown off. But, why? White women are 'allowed' to talented in almost areas, able to wear any style of clothing, enter into any field she chooses. But when a black woman likes country music, decides to wear cowboy boots etc., white women often are confused.

Since I was young, I have played volleyball. As strange as this sounds, I NEVER once had an African American girl on my team. Not only that, but there was not one black girl on any volleyball team in the ENTIRE league of five high schools. I also played basketball and ran track, both of which I played with multiple African American girls. My senior year, a black girl tried out for the team, and sadly, we all for the first time realized that we had never seen an African American girl play volleyball. This made my head spin. Why were there no African American girls going out for volleyball? I really do not know, but I believe it probably has to do with the stereotype set.

To even write about stereotyping by race makes me extremely uncomfortable, because I realize that I probably have similar thoughts to some of the problems I have with stereotyping. This is definitely an area I need to work on.

Once Again

Once again, I feel uptight. Once again, I read an article regarding race stereotypes, and feel outraged. How can it possibly be honorable to Native Americans to have athletic teams be their only representation in American culture? How can derogatory terms such as "Redskins" or "Chief Illiniwek" or "Chief Osecola" positively represent or honor an entire group of people we exterminated at the beginnings of our country? It cannot. If differing tribes felt honored by these terms, that would be one thing, but when Native Americans are asked if they feel respected through the naming of athletic terms Indian slangs, responses like Jim Northrup say, "Why do people continue to insist these nicknames honor American Indians when the people you claim to be honoring tell you its not?" Just because we wish it to honor Native Americans does not mean it actually does. When is intended has no significance, but rather how it is interpreted. I have such issues with any derogatory phrase used by people that do not identify with the group being "represented." I cannot imagine a slang term for 'black' being used to 'honor' the African American community... it would never happen.

When I say this, I feel so uptight and as though I am so sensitive! But, I truly believe it is slang terms like this that perpetuate racism in American today. Racism that is unidentified as such, I believe, is the most dangerous kind, as it has no hope of being diminished.

Am I Thelma, or Louise?

When I went to watch this movie, I remember thinking to myself, "hmmm what could this possibly be about?" But as I sat and watched the story unravel within the first scene and Louise ends up shooting and killing the man that began to rape Thelma, I automatically began to think of my best friend Emily Cody. I began to think, how far is TOO far? To what measure would I stand up for my best friend in the midst of her being attacked, preyed upon, or abused? I would have no problem say yelling at someone for treating her poorly, but would I shoot someone if they began to abuse her? It did not take too long for me to think about this question. My answer is yes. And here is why.

Even as women, who identify as feminists much of the time, it is easy to fall into the slope of the dangerous relationship. I have seen so many strong, confident women fall into relationships that are controlling in one aspect of another, or have been used and allured in by a man who was only seeking her physical gain. It was hard at points to watch the movie Thelma and Louise, because it was easy to see myself in both characters. I could see myself shooting someone who was raping my best friend, but I could also see myself getting roped into a horrible situation out of my naiveness. I do not know the correct the forever problem of why women feel the need for male approval. BUT I do know that watching this movie was liberating. It made me see two women who had made mistakes, but were not going to compromise on any level to lose themselves in the end. I hope someday I will be able to give a woman some advice of how to remain confident in herself without the need of a man's approval.

As the table turns

I could rant and rave for hours, days, weeks, about gender stereotyping in the media, gender biasing on our campus, gender discrimination in the church, and pretty much anything involving women's issues, but when it comes to race, I grow silent. Let me try to use this blog as an introduction to my thoughts on approaching race.

I stand in silence, in ignorance. I know how it feels to be a woman, at times like I will never be able to truly become my hopes, but I have no idea what it feels like to be an African American woman. I say this with a sincere desire to yearn to listen. Just as I crave my story as a woman to be heard, I truly need to hear the stories of people of different races.

As I write this, I even become nervous about the language I use. Approaching race is so sensitive to me, because as I can emphasize endlessly that I genuinely want to understand, I will never fully get it, because I am white, I have privilege. It kills me, and I hate it. I hate that although I did not choose to be white, just by the color of my skin, I have more privilege than I even realize.

When I watch TV or a movie, I grow defensive easily by offenses made at gender, but I have to apologetically admit that I do not do this nearly as much when race stereotyping occurs. When I make this statement, I am not referring to blatant racist jokes, but rather actions made by the "black token character," or occupations that the African American character plays, etc. If this was turned and I was watching a movie where all then women were in domestic roles-- I would notice.

I recognize that I have a lot to learn, and that is not an understatement. I am hoping to be challenged, for I believe it is in the uncomfortable that we truly grow.