Complexity

Why do I look up to the people I do? When reflecting on my personal icons in my life I can't help but see that they all vary on some level. I have role models in the fashion world, in the political sphere, in my personal life, and in academics. I hate to admit that some of my role models subconsciously are probably not the best people to respect on their overall lifestyle. I have tried to process this, and at this point I have come to this conclusion: each person I admire explains a certain aspect, part, passion, or piece of who I am. It speaks to the true complexity of me as a woman, and people as individuals.

Jackie O Kennedy for her ability to walk and set her own path in the midst of terror in her personal, political, and public life.

Sarah Jessica Parker for her fashion sense

Cody Martin for choosing to serve the LORD in Chaplaincy, while relating to young people right where they each need to be met

Katie Couric for her vision, intellect, and ability to articulate her words

Hillary Clinton for her ability to be a positive, female political figure, while receiving public criticism

Fantasyland

So now that I have tried to defend the stereotypical "ideal woman" that most second wave feminists rant for hours about, I have to say, I think I am making more ground on my ideas as I read more. When reading Mankomsky's take on Lara Croft, I have to say I had to sit and process what I had just read for a while.

First, I would like to take a look at this picture:

The problem for me has never been when a heroine is dressed "promiscuously." The issue within the whole comic and game world is that the heroine is dressed up as a fantasy character for men. I would not say that large breasts is essential for a women to feel represented within the game world, and I certainly do not believe that allowing a man to have free range on my body would be a feeling of empowerment. I truly HATE when any person gets so addicted to a video game that their eyes become glazed over and they are literally incoherent. To have the women represented in the games to all be sex icons, creates women as a complete object. This is where I think I draw the line when being comfortable-- fantasizing over female bodies through cartoons seems a bit extreme and honestly perverted.

Is Buffy REALLY the root of it?

When many speak of The Buffy Effect, like many topics within feminism, people split and for the most part have a very definite reason for siding with one perspective over another. Mine, like always, is complicated.

The question is raised,

"But is Buffy really an exhilarating post-third-wave heroine, or is she merely a caricature of '90's pseudo-girl power, a cleverly crafted marketing scheme to hook the ever-important youth demographic?" This of course is the question I try so hard to dart from. As I am, and am honestly trying hard to embrace, a 5'7, more slenderly built, blonde hair, blue-eyed woman (the woman that is often portrayed as superficial by appearance and containing nothing of substance), my heart tends to want to believe that Buffy is a positive. I identify with Buffy. As critics slam her appearance as the non-ideal and the very problem that plagues society merely masked, I would like to believe the morals and ideals being shared within the plot and storyline overpower Buffy's physical appearance. In my opinion, to completely attract attention to physical appearance, and to claim that Buffy is not the "typical" woman by appearance, is actually to further complicate the issue, as a "normal" should not be defined.

Although I would hope to believe I am correct, and could probably talk about this until I am blue in the face (and of course never back down), I have began to really put my guard down and have realized that I could be wrong. I do realize that when young girls and women watch Buffy, they see her capable of achieving anything she desires and going into tasks typically prohibited of women, and then her physical appearance being one that has already been engrained into women as the ideal to attain creates the correlation of physical appearance and ultimate success.

I have to believe that we still have not touched on the root of the evil. Ultimately, I think an overemphasis on female body image contributes to much of the division within the feminist movement.

Who is the Monster?

I write this blog with a heavy heart and want to sincerely state that my views behind body image is complex and not easily understood. Although I hold opinions on women's image that not many feminists do not share and would most likely claim is the root behind women's insecurities, I do not claim that there are not severe consequences with any perspective or view that is implied to the extreme. I write this blog with having experienced my sister, my best friend, battled anorexia for 2 years. Although it may seem as though I should completely reject women's magazines and other forms of image influence due to watching my sister suffer, I actually hold the opposite perspective because of my sister

This video reminds me so much of my sister, but thankfully, she was saved.

My approach to body image is not one of rejection, but one of embracement and true understanding. To completely reject women's magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Elle, Marie Claire, Vogue, etc is to place a band aid over a deep wound. The band aid will only last temporarily, and most often when it is removed, the cut is deeper and more infected. When listening to leading feminists such as Naomi Wolfe in her Beauty Myth, or critics of the high fashion industry, I do truly identify with the pain behind their arguments. Women have such a battle with image and how it is tied to their identity. But it is my goal over the next few blogs and in my paper on gender to try to explain how I sincerely believe with all my heart that although magazines, fashion, and different mediums to effect the way people view themselves, they are not the root cause of insecurity within ourselves.

My story is this--

I watched my sister spiral downwards in a battle for her life, but more importantly her identity. I sat through counseling sessions where the therapists told her she was beautiful. I begged her to eat. I threw away all fashion magazines in our house. I wore baggy clothes. I ate more in front of her. I never talked about image. I would follow her into the bathroom. She still continued to suffer. My sister had it all. She was a varsity athlete, 4.0 student, freshman class president, on the church worship team, had a large group of friends, and a stable family. My sister was not fat. She was 5'9 and weighed 120 pounds preanorexia. At the worst point in her battle, she weighed just over 100 pounds.

To say that the media, especially magazines, is the issue behind self-image is to take the easy route. My sister beat her anorexia. I flew home my freshman year of college to hear her speak about eating disorders at a high school near our house. As I listened to her speak, and I began to understand her deepest and darkest secrets, I realized that the root of a distorted body image does not lie in the influence of the media, but rather the ideal taught not only to women, but to men as well, that you must be everything. It is an issue of control. When life becomes hectic and competitive, people search for any mode of control possible. I believe women and men search for different areas of control based on what we are socialized to think is important. Body image for women is an area of control that can reap immediate success in the eyes of peers.

I do not write this claiming to have all the answers, but rather to state that we must search deeper. We must be willing to look at all aspects of a women's life and realize that the issue of body image that plagues most women and destroys many is far more complex than merely blaming the media.

Behind every smile

After watching the movie The Monstrous Regiment of Women, I literally felt as though my soul had been shot. Being on a progressive Christian campus, my frustration for gender equality is rarely struck down. I had began to forget or in some ways suppress the reality of American Christiandom.

As I sat and heard the thoughts of the women on the documentary, my anger quickly turned to sadness. My heart returned to the days of high school and growing up. My parents are the best example of and egalitarian relationship that I know. Both my mom and dad are individuals with their own passions, ambitions, and perspectives. They are not threatened by one another, but rather inspired and motivated. I always remember my dad telling me that he is the most in love with my mom when he sees her leading, because he know that God gave her specific passions. My best friend's family situation was very different from this. She is a member of the Mormon Church and the moment one of the women in the documentary started talking about how sorry she was for at one point in her life wanting to pursue her selfish ambitions, my immediate reaction of anger turned to sadness-- a sadness that made me feel sick.

Just like these women in the video, my best friend comes across as one of the brightest people. As we grew up, I saw my best friend's confidence and charisma slowing molded by her church. The crazy, intelligent, ambitious girl she was in middle school, turned into a leader among women, but a helper among men. This idea has always consumed my mind... if a woman is a strong, vivacious leader among men, why can she not be one among men??

When the young woman in the documentary started crying, my heart returned to a Sunday I attended the Mormon church's Women's Relief Society. When I arrived, the women had made numerous amounts of foods (all extravegent and overly done), they were all individually beautifully put together, and the organization of the meeting was like nothing I had attended before. It began to dawn on me, all these women have to focus all their time, energy and gifts to one thing, homemaking, which truly limits them as individuals. This was their time for their leadership skills to shine as Joseph Smith states, "women of the Church are given some measure of divine authority particularly in the direction of government and instruction in behalf of the women of the church" (J. F. Smith, p. 5). As the meeting began, we stood and recited the Relief Society Pledge of fertility. I could not believe what I was actually saying! When we finished, we sat down, and begin talking about our weeks. Women immediately broke into tears, stating that they do not feel adequate for men or God; their houses were messy, their children arrived late to soccer etc. The guilt behind their voices, and the pain behind their stories made me sick. They had each been programmed to believe that they are serving their community best, and the most faithful to the LORD when homemaking. All of the dreams they had each created as young women had been slowly refocused to a womanhood defined by motherhood. I began to sob when I heard my best friend speak. She spoke of how she was so afraid that her future husband would not be satisfied with her, and how she never felt adequate for the LORD. At that moment, I realized behind every smile, and every "happy family"-- their is a story. Without a true choice, and a choice without guilt or persecution as its consequence, women, religious women at that, will never be able to truly find satisfaction as a homemaker or a career woman.

http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/organization/Relief_Society_EOM.htm