As I sat and heard the thoughts of the women on the documentary, my anger quickly turned to sadness. My heart returned to the days of high school and growing up. My parents are the best example of and egalitarian relationship that I know. Both my mom and dad are individuals with their own passions, ambitions, and perspectives. They are not threatened by one another, but rather inspired and motivated. I always remember my dad telling me that he is the most in love with my mom when he sees her leading, because he know that God gave her specific passions. My best friend's family situation was very different from this. She is a member of the Mormon Church and the moment one of the women in the documentary started talking about how sorry she was for at one point in her life wanting to pursue her selfish ambitions, my immediate reaction of anger turned to sadness-- a sadness that made me feel sick.
Just like these women in the video, my best friend comes across as one of the brightest people. As we grew up, I saw my best friend's confidence and charisma slowing molded by her church. The crazy, intelligent, ambitious girl she was in middle school, turned into a leader among women, but a helper among men. This idea has always consumed my mind... if a woman is a strong, vivacious leader among men, why can she not be one among men??
When the young woman in the documentary started crying, my heart returned to a Sunday I attended the Mormon church's Women's Relief Society. When I arrived, the women had made numerous amounts of foods (all extravegent and overly done), they were all individually beautifully put together, and the organization of the meeting was like nothing I had attended before. It began to dawn on me, all these women have to focus all their time, energy and gifts to one thing, homemaking, which truly limits them as individuals. This was their time for their leadership skills to shine as Joseph Smith states, "women of the Church are given some measure of divine authority particularly in the direction of government and instruction in behalf of the women of the church" (J. F. Smith, p. 5). As the meeting began, we stood and recited the Relief Society Pledge of fertility. I could not believe what I was actually saying! When we finished, we sat down, and begin talking about our weeks. Women immediately broke into tears, stating that they do not feel adequate for men or God; their houses were messy, their children arrived late to soccer etc. The guilt behind their voices, and the pain behind their stories made me sick. They had each been programmed to believe that they are serving their community best, and the most faithful to the LORD when homemaking. All of the dreams they had each created as young women had been slowly refocused to a womanhood defined by motherhood. I began to sob when I heard my best friend speak. She spoke of how she was so afraid that her future husband would not be satisfied with her, and how she never felt adequate for the LORD. At that moment, I realized behind every smile, and every "happy family"-- their is a story. Without a true choice, and a choice without guilt or persecution as its consequence, women, religious women at that, will never be able to truly find satisfaction as a homemaker or a career woman.
http://www.lightplanet.com/mormons/basic/organization/Relief_Society_EOM.htm
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